Sarah's So Boring With Or Without The Drinking

listening

2005-03-07T16:12:00.000-08:00

Five Artists That Don't Suck That You Should Check Out This Week If You're Farther Behind On What's Cool Than I Am:

Jem
Get past the fact that she's ripping off your childhood icon's name and download "They." Kinda haunting, kinda pretty, kinda funktastic, really fucking cathy. Also featured on the O.C., which means she's really fucking in.

Jens Lekman
Swedish crooner in manner of Rufus Wainwright meets piano-driven, showtune-erriffic ballads.

Doris Henson
Kind of like hipster breakouts Bloc Party, but kind of better and less whiny.

The Thermals
Frantic garage punk with a poppy melody behind all the feedback.

Rogue Wave
These dudes were on the Napoleon Dynamite soundtrack. Lucky!

the new mars volta album blows

2005-03-02T20:13:00.000-08:00

but don't worry, because I'm dj'ing this friday on the LES!11!!!

WTF?

2005-03-01T13:58:00.000-08:00

Vanity Fair's event is notable for its ability to draw a majority of Academy Award winners each year. It also creates a chance for those who did not actually attend the ceremony to parade the countless costumes available to anyone who may draw the attention of a photographer. The rock star and part-time fashion designer Gwen Stefani was there in one of the most stunning dresses seen in Los Angeles all week, a black Versace with heavy embroidery and sequins, and a cobweb of netting in the back.

Dear New York Times,

It is cruel to write that kind of glowing commentary and not post a freaking photo of this, "one of the most stunning dresses seen in Los Angeles all week."

Plz snd pix, thx!

-The Witch

Learn By Example

2005-02-28T20:43:00.000-08:00

Dear UltraGrrrl,

This Blog, Scenestars doesn't suck.

-WOB

Oscar Roundup, WHAT!

2005-02-27T21:39:00.000-08:00

This year, the Oscars were edgier, hipper, and wackier than ever before! O, Chris Rock, you and your hip-edgy-wackiness!

Also, the music ate so much butt that doctors are now working throughout the night to understand how such a large amount of butt could have been consumed in one 3.5 hour period.

Here's the rundown.

Beyonce: Just who we need at a classy event like the Oscars. With hits like "Bootylicious" and a high-class mo'fscker like Jay-Z for a life partner, she was the clear choice for not one, not two, but three life-changing performances. Who will ever forget the way she butchered the French language? The way she pulled a serious J.Lo vs. Marc Antony when attempting to perform beside Josh Groban? The way we'd rather she'd just have put the microphone up to her bling during that crappy Phantom song and let the sweet music of loaner diamonds carry the moment? She does make my job a little bit easier though. Three performances, one word: crap.

The Counting Crows: Will never be one of my favorite bands, but Christ Almighty - they get an amazing song in a shit movie ("Colorblind" in Cruel Intentions) and then a shit song in a great movie ("Accidentally in Love" - Shrek 2.) This is probably one of the worst songs ever written, actually. Sorry guys. Rock those dreds with your bad self, though, Adam!

+
Antonio Banderas and Santana: Way to drill home the stereotypes (greasy brown people + third-world country-like set)! I couldn't be more proud. Let's also take a moment to splooge over the fact that this is the first Spanish language song nominated for best song. Too bad it sucked. As Chris Rock noted in his monologue at the beginning - just wait until you get a good one. Meh.

you and i are gonna live foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2005-02-24T20:51:00.000-08:00

I've been on a mission to import most of my cd's on to the ole' iPod, and tonight I chose Definitely Maybe.

I got this CD in the 8th grade, from a boy I met online in a telnet chat room who went by the username "Gonzo." We met IRL at the local putt-putt when I was in the 6th grade, and I fell in love. His real name is Brett, I lost touch with him when I was 15, and I think he may have gone to college in Oklahoma, but it's only a guess.

Anyway, I told my friends i wanted "that oasis cd" for my b-day. I meant "What's the Story ..." but this kid got me "Definitely Maybe." While I did not fully appreciate it until my later years, it somehow escaped the many raids of "shit, no money, must sell cd's now" that my music collection underwent.

Tonight I was working on my other job online, the one that pays the bill(s), which is not so exciting, and i was incredibly frustrated. not only is the work tedious, but my iTunes database is so freaking huge, and the previously ordained playlists for things like "working" and "sleeping" and "reading" were not really happening for me.

In the eternal words of Rob - I just needed something I could ignore.

Because my music collection is arranged autobiographically (thanks, nick hornby), Definitely Maybe is toward the front of Book 1 of cd's. And in it went.

And my god, is it an amazing album to ignore to.

but more than that -

shitty from the bloc

2005-02-22T18:11:00.000-08:00

After reading Pitchfork's spermtastic review of Bloc Party's Silent Alarm, I promptly downloaded it. (illegally! hear that? illegally!)

My initial response was: Franz Ferdinand + Interpol + Stellastarr* + Coldplay. Which, of course, is not bad at all. Add that to the fact that I am the world's biggest fan of Britpop, and you'd think that i'd be a willing contributor to the bloc party splooge-a-thon. But I loaded it onto my iPod, listened to it to and from class this afternoon, and came to the conclusion that while it is musically adept and interesting, I can't get past one particular line.

The song is "Positive Tension."

"She said 'I'm gonna use my teeth and m'breasts. I'm gonna make it happen."

(At least, I'm pretty sure that's the line.)

I cannot handle it. There's something in the way Kele Okereke (vocalist) says "m'breasts" - it sounds like "muhbressstssss." It's just dirty.

This has tainted my entire understanding of the band, and I can't enjoy them properly. But perhaps you will like them.

Buckley makin' pay

2005-02-21T22:01:00.000-08:00

Good God. (and he is.)

2005-02-21T21:32:00.000-08:00

Dear Ultragrrrl,

I was speaking with a friend of mine today, and I realized that I have a very dire problem.

I can't very well pwnx0r your blog if you keep posting really, really, really crappy crap. Seriously. Give me something to work off of, here!

You. Have. Nothing. Of. Value. To. Offer. The. World.

But I do!

.

See? I told you.

More later,
The Witch of Berkeley

Yeah You People All Know What I'm Talkin' About

2005-02-14T23:25:00.000-08:00

Dear Ultragrrrl,

I'm so, so sorry.

But your blog kind of sucks.

Not, like, in a really horrible way. Not in a killing-Sudanese-babies kind of way. Just in a "why do people even give a shit?" kind of way.

And that's fine, except apparently people do give a shit, 'cause they link to you and get you to DJ their hipster parties, and send you their preciously recorded MP3's, and to be honest, I just can't let it keep going on like this.

Maybe the world doesn't need another self-obsessed semi-hipster navel gazing on the InterWeb, but dammit, I've got to do my part. I've got to let people know that there are female music fans and music journalists out there with good taste in music (Yes, Brand New do kind of rock, in a this-makes-me-want-to-molest-high-school-boys kind of way. But it's time to move on.) Not only are we out there, but we're not willing to stand by and be sidelined by the coalition of the bland. And by "coalition of the bland," I mean you.

That'll do for now.

-W.O.B.